i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
