Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
