It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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