woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
