is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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