got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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