There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
