But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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