And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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