The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
