I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
