mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
