Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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