school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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