i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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