THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
