we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You need a sexual gate keeper
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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