I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
