Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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