Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
