We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
