my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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