He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
