It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
