There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
