Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
