After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
