yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
