Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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