Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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