Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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