why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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