Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
