She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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