I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
i think im in europe. pls send help
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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