i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
