This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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