No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
