Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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