yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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