So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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