One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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