Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
