If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
