i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
