If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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