party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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