he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
