i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
