my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
