the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
